Relationships

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Re: Relationships

Post by Blazer on Thu Feb 28, 2013 2:07 pm

An issue in what way?

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Re: Relationships

Post by DemonEyesJoe on Thu Feb 28, 2013 2:25 pm

not having our own spaces

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Re: Relationships

Post by Twizzel on Thu Feb 28, 2013 11:51 pm

Wow.... am I the only one who feels really bad for this girlfriend? From what I can gather you are obviously not in love with this girl anymore. You want out, and the only thing keeping you with her is your own fear of being alone? That is actually like, really selfish. Tell her how you feel and end it now, sooner the better. Stringing her along like this is ridiculous.

And honestly I think you're overplaying how much of a factor being an anime fan is going to affect a relationship; I mean, at least I hope you're more multi-faceted than that. Seriously do not pursue a freaking relationship just because you have both like anime(i.e the chick on your facebook) there's got to be more than that. You're in your twenties, I take it? That is still young. You have to start over even if it scares you. You will find another girlfriend (and hopefully a more loving relationship) eventually. Your forever alone fears are irrational. Just put yourself out there. You need to get out of this quasi relationship you have, and get on with your life and let your girlfriend do the same.
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Re: Relationships

Post by Kaleb_K on Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:34 am

Twizzel wrote:Wow.... am I the only one who feels really bad for this girlfriend? From what I can gather you are obviously not in love with this girl anymore. You want out, and the only thing keeping you with her is your own fear of being alone? That is actually like, really selfish. Tell her how you feel and end it now, sooner the better. Stringing her along like this is ridiculous.

And honestly I think you're overplaying how much of a factor being an anime fan is going to affect a relationship; I mean, at least I hope you're more multi-faceted than that. Seriously do not pursue a freaking relationship just because you have both like anime(i.e the chick on your facebook) there's got to be more than that. You're in your twenties, I take it? That is still young. You have to start over even if it scares you. You will find another girlfriend (and hopefully a more loving relationship) eventually. Your forever alone fears are irrational. Just put yourself out there. You need to get out of this quasi relationship you have, and get on with your life and let your girlfriend do the same.

I didn't want to say anything about this, because as a dude, I know that we are notorious for making things sounds completely different than what we mean, and I was hoping for more information before I jumped to conclusions. Not to defend anyone either way, but finding someone else may just as well be a counter reaction to a fear that she will break it off. I don't know, because I was not there, there are three sides to ever story: Person 1, Person 2, and then the Truth. I do agree though, that if you are doing this just for the fear of loneliness then you are on a road to more heart ache and scars for the both of you, then trying to give it a clean break now.

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Re: Relationships

Post by Kaleb_K on Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:37 am

sorry, I do it to others so I have to do it to myself to be fair.


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Re: Relationships

Post by Paper Tiger on Fri Mar 01, 2013 4:54 am

Twizzel wrote:Wow.... am I the only one who feels really bad for this girlfriend? From what I can gather you are obviously not in love with this girl anymore. You want out, and the only thing keeping you with her is your own fear of being alone? That is actually like, really selfish. Tell her how you feel and end it now, sooner the better. Stringing her along like this is ridiculous.
Frankly, I still don't quite understand where the whole problem is - he says he loves her and she loves him, well that has to be based on something right? And if there is in fact love, then isn't that enough proof that daily routines be damned they actually have something that connects them, and thus the relationship is not anywhere near as hopeless as he thinks it is? On the other hand if despite their love the only reason he hasn't bailed is indeed his fear of loneliness, then there really ain't much love involved at least on his part, and thus it is best for everyone if he does exactly as you suggest.

DemonEyesJoe, your info says you're 22, is that correct? If so, are you currently in college? That's a good place to make friends you know. If not in college, no matter, at the very least you're not working from home - instead you have regular contact w/ people other than your relatives, which is a good start. And you say you're well liked at work, well good - everybody knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody, you never know who you may meet thru someone you know.

Also, FWIW, your lack of your own spaces has absolutely nothing to do w/ your issues. For that matter, I find the whole idea of "own spaces" absolutely ridiculous - you had those before you moved in together, the moment you decided to live together that concept should have gone straight into the in-sink-erator. You're now one "entity", or at least should be - when there's a storm brewing between you two you don't ride it out in your respective bubbles, you sit your posteriors together at the table and figure it out. If it can't be resolved right away, you're allowed to spend a night on the couch (bedroom is hers by default). Just like how I sometimes get exiled to my truck, whether it's by my choice or by hers. Next morning whoever messed up fixes a make-up breakfast for the other person (well usually we both go for it, regardless of whose fault the mess was). Then we sit down together, and figure it out - all that is needed for this is cool heads, hot coffee, and maybe a couple of hours discussion time. We're both adults (for the most part at least), we've been thru hell together, we don't need "our own spaces" to make things right. And neither should you, if you plan on being serious w/ this (or any other) girl.

Now if you will excuse me, it is past midnight already, and thus it is time for me to serve a goodnight glass of sweet homemade wine to the beautiful tsundere who patiently puts up w/ me and all my stupidity and asks for nothing in return.
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Re: Relationships

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